


A Scientific Duet

by Featherine_Aurora



Series: Lesbian Protagonist Tales [9]
Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: Character Development, Developing Relationship, F/F, Female Protagonist, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Lesbian Character, Personal Growth, Relationship(s), Romance, Yuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Featherine_Aurora/pseuds/Featherine_Aurora
Summary: While they are both working, Maho decides to reveal her messy feeling for Kurisu to her. This leads to a rather unexpected result.
Relationships: Hiyajo Maho/Makise Kurisu
Series: Lesbian Protagonist Tales [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1434820
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

Maho felt like she was close to cracking this problem. She was tired, physically and mentally, but determined. She took a sip from her can of D. Peppa. It was a new brand she had started drinking. Fortunately, it worked as well as Doktor P for keeping her refreshed. She did a bit more typing, then picked up her can and chugged most of it down, putting down the can with a noisy, but oddly satisfying slam.

That caused Kurisu to glance at her, then hurriedly turn back to her work when she noticed that Maho had noticed her gaze. She’d been taking glances at Maho for a while. She seemed nervous for some reason. Maho had a few ideas why. First, she could likely see that Maho was a bit tired. Well, she was worse than tired, but she had been doing her best to hide the full extent of that. But Kurisu was around her enough to guess at her condition. Maho could do her best to ensure she could keep working, but ensuring that Kurisu didn’t notice anything was impossible.

_If our positions were reversed, I’d probably be concerned and nervous. We both know the potential consequences of overworking and I’m clearly doing it._

That wasn’t the only thing. There was also how Maho had not said much to Kurisu in regards to what she was currently working on. 

Both of these things likely were making her colleague concerned. That was something Maho was feeling guilty about. Kurisu didn’t deserve to be shut out. But Maho had her own priorities, though they were what she felt were probably partially selfish and silly ones. 

_She probably could solve this problem easily. That is the gap between me and her. She is a true genius. But I can solve this by myself. I want to solve it by myself._

Yes, that was a big part of why she was pushing herself so hard and why she was shutting Kurisu out. What she was working on seemed like it could be incredible and she wanted it to be her achievement. She wanted to prove herself. She wanted to make her mark. Lastly, she wanted to impress Kurisu.

That last one mattered to her a lot. Kurisu to her was someone on a level few in human history would ever reach. The idea of amazing or impressing a person like Kurisu Makise was something that felt like the stuff of dreams or of a paradise. But it seemed at the moment like it was a faint possibility, which was enough for Maho. Kurisu was someone she treasured knowing. She admired and even revered Kurusu’s intellect and potential. She had also grown to treasure Kurisu as a friend. For someone so capable even by the standards of much older academics, she was relatively humble and friendly. Maho had a lot of trouble getting respect from anyone, But that had never been an issue with Kurisu. But beyond professionalism, there was also the time spent bantering with her, chatting about their lives, laughing at jokes, giving sympathy and supporting each other. There was also their shared love of learning and discovery. As both a scientist and as a friend, Kurisu mattered to Maho a lot. 

“Senpai?”

Maho spun around, scowling slightly. “Yes?”

The way she had said that was a bit terse. She was letting her irritation and feelings leak out again. She recalled the last time that she had done that. They’d ended up having a fight. They’d reconciled, of course. But Maho had managed it partly by lying about some of her thoughts and feelings, conveying just enough to help patch over things without mentioning things that she was not ready to deal with.

_Like my feelings about Kurisu. There are times where she makes me feel worthless, like my skills and dreams was rendered meaningless the instant she was born. But I also can’t help but adore her, even love her._

It was embarrassing. Maho had a crush on Kurisu. Yes, that was something she was certain of. She loved Kurisu. But neither that or her negative emotions in regards to Kurisu could be allowed to taint their working relationship. So Maho tried at responding to Kurisu again, forcing a small smile. She needed to be the friendly colleague now. “Sorry, I’m just a bit tired. But you know how it is when you have some calculations that are close to being completed”.

“I do, yes”. Kurisu smiled awkwardly. “I’ve done that to the pointing of tiring myself out, even when I knew I should stop. The potential reward is just so tempting and every bit of progress in itself can feel wonderful. It’s something I never want to give up, but it can be a bit too addictive. Fortunately, I’ve had others such as yourself to get me to rest".

The pointed look Kurisu was giving her started to make Maho feel uncomfortable. “Yeah… you’re welcome”.

“After all, pushing the brain past a certain point means that the quality of a person’s work vastly reduces, potentially to the point that any work produced can be worthless”. 

This was stuff that Maho obviously knew. The continued look that Kurisu was giving her made the reason clear why she felt the need to repeat it to Maho. But Maho didn’t want to stop. She didn’t have a real argument to put forward though. So she went with pretending to not notice the point being made. “Yes, that’s true. It’s good to remember that”.

Kurisu’s eyes narrowed. After a moment of silence, she sighed. In a flat, tired tone, as though the conversation she was trying to start had already exhausted her, she said, “Fine, I’ll be direct. You’re badly overworking yourself, senpai. You should take a rest, if just for the sake of your work. At the same time, I feel I tell you that I’m worried about how this might affect your health. I say that as both a fellow researcher and a friend. A little break won’t hurt that much, right?”.

Maho did agree. She also didn’t want to make Kurisu worry about her. But stopping felt too much like giving up. Her self doubting thoughts started to stir her mind, with her stomping on them with a simple thought. I’m not going to give up.

She still needed to respond to Kurisu. _That shouldn’t be too hard, right?_

“Probably not. But you see…”. Maho paused as she desperately tried to think of something to excuse continuing to overwork. Her tired brain was struggling, but it came up with something that she then apprehensively tried. “… I’ve been taking breaks already”.

She got a pitying look from Kurisu in response. “I don’t believe that you have, unless you’ve either had someone here dressed up as you or someone took over your social media accounts to send those messages at the times when you could have taken a break”. 

Oh. Right. That did make the idea that Maho had taken a break that Kurisu didn’t know about rather implausible. _But I could maybe try that idea of there being a lookalike or a hacker._

As she was about to try to piece together a convincing theory around those ideas in her head, Kurisu stopped her by speaking again. “I can tell when you’re not really okay. I believe we both know each other well enough to tell that much. You’ve been able to do the same and even see through me with regards to other topics. We are friends, after all.

“I’d offer to help you, but you’ve been rather closed off”. For a moment, Kurisu looked off-put, but she quickly switched to a neutral expression, with a pleading look in her eyes. “I don’t know why and I hope you will tell me the reason at some point. I hope I’ve not done anything wrong. Of course, what you share with others is your decision to make. But please, at least look after yourself a bit better”. 

Maho now felt like shit. Even if she might regret it and felt sure that she would, Maho decided she should do something to assure her friend. “Sorry for making you worry. You’re right. I’ll try to do better at that from now on”.

Kurisu smiled. “You could leave earlier today if you want. I’m sure that would be allowed for you if you asked”. 

For a moment, Maho felt doubtful. Maybe they’d grant that sort of thing to Kurisu. But she was more of an ordinary researcher and the department could hardly have its researchers just leave early for no good reason. 

_Well, I guess I still also have a bit of privilege. I’d hate to use it for something petty like a break. But taking a chance to leave early and rest would show Kurisu that I’m actually going to make an effort._

So Maho’s response was “I think I’ll do that."

Kurisu was clearly relieved to hear her answer. Maho also felt relieved as she saw Kurisu relax a bit. They then both got back to work. Maho was distracted though. She was thinking about what Kurisu had said and about the effect her actions were having on Kurisu.

_If I keep my secrets, I’m just going to do this again at some point. I’m going to have times where I’m acting odd or distant and Kurisu will wonder why. I’d continue to not explain myself and she’d be hurt by that._

There was only one real solution. She needed to be honest to Kurisu and tell her the truth. 

Maybe Kurisu knowing her thoughts might make things awkward between them. It might make Kurisu think less of her or even dislike her. Her feelings towards Kurisu were a mess and learning about the two extremes of bitterness and love might drive Kurisu away. That would be understandable. Maho herself felt that the negative part of her feelings about Kurisu’s talent was unfair to Kurisu and she had no idea how to deal with her attraction towards her friend.   
  
But Kurisu was her friend. It would be better to be honest and try to deal with this with her. She had the right to have a full understanding of the situation. If that caused her to end their friendship, that was something that was her right to so.  
  
“Kurisu?”.

“Yes?”. Kurisu had looked away from her work and was facing Maho again. Right, Maho had her attention. It was time to leap forward and hope that this worked out for the best. 

“I would like to try and explain why I’ve been acting odd”. 

Kurisu frowned. “You seem nervous. If there’s something you’d rather not share, you don’t have to force yourself to”.

“No, this is something I feel that I need to do. First, could you take a look at what I’ve been working on?”. Maho gestured at her computer and Kurisu moved closer to read what was on it. She seemed to be more and more absorbed by what she was reading as she made her way through Maho’s research. Finally, she reached the end and turned around. “This is amazing”.

It was silly, but watching Kurisu read her research had felt like watching a respected senior figure looking over her work. Maho was technically her senior and Kurisu treated her as once. Yet she didn’t really feel like that. Instead, Kurisu felt like someone who was capable of understanding more than she was. Kurisu felt like her senior, rather than someone who’d call her senpai. Her comment made Maho feel the sort of joy that she’d usually felt from teachers.

“Thanks”.

“Are you blushing?”.

“Huh?”.

“Never mind”. Kurisu quickly moved back to the topic of Maho’s research. “I’m wondering why you’ve clearly kept this hidden for a while. Whatever the reason, I’m impressed by what you’ve managed, especially on your own without requesting any resources or support".

She then brought up a particular page. “I happened to notice something here that could use an adjustment. What if...”. She started explaining herself. As she did, Maho once again felt the awe she felt whenever she saw Kurisu grasp a concept or theory. She always did that at a remarkable speed and start to come up with her own ingenious ideas in a way that continued to astonish those around her. It definitely did that for Maho. To her, Kurisu was a miraculously gifted person, a goddess of science in comparison to everyone else. When Kurisu paused for a moment, Maho declared “You’re incredible. You really are like Mozart”.

“While I do appreciate the comparison, I don’t think I’m at that level”. Kurisu sighed. “I’ve heard the idea from others, that I’m like Mozart”. She gave Maho a sympathetic look. “I’ve also heard people making unfair comparisons with me and you using that analogy. But it’s just people being silly. It’s not worth taking seriously”. 

“Actually, it’s serious for me”.

“Really?”. Kurisu blinked a couple of times, an astonished look on her face. After a silent moment, she frowned and asked “So is that why you chose Salieri as your password?”.

That wasn’t what Maho had expected. “How do you know my password?”

“Because you need to be more careful when typing in passwords. But if I hadn’t known because of that, now I'd know because you told me”.

“Oh”. Maho hoped no one else had noticed her apparent laxity in following basic IT rules. She could do better in the future, but she couldn’t erase the past and she’d hate to have something like that on her record. 

“Are you really jealous of me?”. Kurisu was clearly hurt by that possibility, but also appeared to be surprised, as though the idea that Maho would feel that way was hard for her to accept.

“No, not really”. Maho started with a denial. The idea of being jealous seemed wrong and that of telling Kurisu felt malicious. But she decided that was not something she should do if she was going to be truly honest to Kurisu. “Well, maybe a little. But your level of talent is hard to be jealous about. You are amazing, a true genius. Knowing you and being able to work with you is really wonderful. Anyone who truly loves science should be honoured to know you. I am. I love being in a world where someone like you exists. I love knowing you and being your friend. 

“Even if no one had made the comparison, I’m sure I would have still connected you to Mozart in my mind. Because those comparisons are fair. You are naturally gifted at a level even most people that have been called geniuses will never reach”. Maho smiled, though with a tinge of bitterness. “Those who compare us are right. Someone like me is just inferior and nothing someone like me can do will ever really matter in comparison to a real genius. I can’t escape that, though I want to try. I want something I do to matter even in a world where you exist. But that’s probably stupid. I probably will never manage that, will I? No, it feels like an absolute law that someone at my level could do that. It feels unfair, even cruel. Yet this is the truth”. 

Kurisu was silent. Maho, after expressing herself, found herself incapable of doing more than wait. In fact, she found herself incapable of directly looking at Kurisu. After saying what she had, it was hard to even stay in the room. But then Kurisu said her name and she forced herself to look at Kurisu. She was being given a fiercely resolute look back from Kurisu. Then Kurisu started speaking, her voice conveying a firm belief in what she was saying.

“Yes, there are people who say that sort of thing about us a lot. It might feel like they must be right. But is it true? I think the answer is no. I’m certain Maybe I am naturally gifted. But that doesn’t mean you’re inferior to me. That’s something I can’t agree with. I think you’re a different sort of genius, no less real than me or any other. You have insights and theories just as valuable as mine. You worked hard to hone your mind. Yes, it’s not a “naturally gifted” mind. So what? You’re still brilliant. I love working with you. To me, you’re an excellent lab partner and someone invaluable to me as an equal”. Kurisu had become more heated as she continued to speak. “I’ve never seen you as lesser than me. You’re one of the smartest people I know or think I’ll ever know!”.

She stopped to take a breath, then continued in a more relaxed manner. Her voice was affectionate as she said “Actually, to be honest, I’ve always admired you. It’s a bit embarrassing, but I had a bit of time when we first met where I was sort of starstruck by you. You seemed like a number of my childhood idols, but in the flesh and right in front of me, even working with me. That was amazing. It did make my first week working here difficult though”.

Maho did recall that Kurisu was initially shy and nervous. That was something she had ultimately attributed purely to Kurisu finding herself at such a high point as being a researcher at such a young age. It was surely overwhelming, especially with the judgement she faced from peers who were much older than her. She had simply seen herself as that, an older peer who was awed by Kurisu’s superior intellect, but with the difference of them both sharing the hardship of being judged by researchers older than them. It was actually a bit hard for her to process the idea that Kurisu had not simply seen her as a senior figure in a very new and hostile environment, but actually looked up to her. 

Kurisu also seemed to get lost in thought for a bit. Then she looked at Maho expectantly.

_Shit, I need to say something now._

Unfortunately, her mind was shaken by what Kurisu had said. So, Maho’s response was to open her mouth, say nothing and then close it. Her second attempt allowed her to get out “... huh?”.

“That might be one of the worst responses to anything I’ve seen from you”. Kurisu frowned for a moment, before smiling . “Anyway, it’s true. I think you’re brilliant. There’s no one I want to have as a research partner more than you. In fact, if I had to stop working myself, I’d entrust every bit of research to you. There’s no one whose intellect I trust more than yours”.

Maho felt that her mind was overwhelmed with emotions especially happiness. She felt she would need to do something to show her appreciation when she could. For now, she could at least say two simple words. “Thank you”.

The two of them sat in silence. Kurisu, in a humorous tone, then said “This wasn’t worse than the time I suggested that you might be attracted to girls. You were really in denial then”.

Maho guessed that Kurisu was likely trying to lighten the mood. Unfortunately, that was an embarrassing memory, one that her attraction to Kurisu helped make even more awkward for her. She felt her face rapidly heat up and she tensed up.

_Having a friend try to pair you up with others is bad. Having that friend be a person you’re also attracted to, even while in denial about that, is even worse._

Kurisu obviously saw that she’d not helped the situation, even if she didn’t know why. “Sorry. I really do for trying to pair you up with guys for a while. I really thought that I was helping you. It’s what I thought I should do as a friend. But, even if you had been attracted to me, I probably shouldn’t have tried to matchmake for someone who clearly didn’t want that”.

“It’s fine”.

Maho decided she might as well take this opportunity and leap ahead with another revelation. She might not get a better time. Besides, this should be minor in comparison to what she had already disclosed. “I have something else to tell you, something related to that and my odd behaviour”.

“Hmm, really? Do you have a crush or...”. Kurisu then gave her a weary look. After a moment, she said “You have a crush on me. Is that it?”.

“Well done”. 

She got a glare from Kurisu for that. “Really?”

“Sorry”.

“So, what are you after in regards to a relationship?”. 

That was a blunt, to the point response. For a moment, it was a shock. After that moment to process it, it seemed like exactly what she should have expected from Kurisu. Even with everything that had been said to her, she still could focus on asking important questions. Maho felt a bit disappointed that she could only respond with “I don’t know, actually”. 

Kurisu nodded. “That’s understandable. Senpai, I will need time to figure out my own feelings first. I think a bit of time to think will help us both”. 

“Yes, I agree. 

Kurisu smiled. “If I can assist you with your research at any point, please ask”. 

“I will. Thank you”. 

They both returned to their work, though Maho was once again distracted by swirling thoughts and emotions, though they were considerably lighter ones.


	2. Chapter 2

Maho was out to get some shopping. She’d mostly gotten used to doing this in American stores with different brands and options to what she was used to, though there were still times where she automatically went after items that weren’t there or misunderstood an English word or term. But she was at least past the time where she at times needed to nervously send text messages asking for quick english translations from Dr Leskinen. He might be a friendly guy and prize his genius student enough to be very open to requests. But it had still been embarrassing to ask him for that sort of help. 

_Social humiliation seems to be something that’ll follow me everywhere._

She then saw Kurisu walking somewhere while trying to be sneaky in that way that makes a person stand out more than if they just relaxed and acted normally. That sight was enough to make Maho decide to follow Kurisu. She did that until Kurisu entered a store. Maho glanced at the entrance.

_So America really has places like this?_

It was a store clearly focused on anime and related media like manga and anime styled games, plus merchandise. It was toned down compared to some of the stores she’d seen back home, but it was clearly of a similar type to them. 

_Looks like I’ve learned something new about our resident Mozart._

Maho entered the store and, seeing that Kurisu was focused on something and starting to relax, approached her.

_Is she humming cha la head cha la while browsing shelves?_

Kurisu having this side to her was a bit unexpected, though Maho did know that there were times where she’d seen Kurisu look at stuff on her computer that she didn’t understand. So perhaps this had been out in the open and Maho hadn’t noticed. Anyway, her friend acting so nervous while simply going to a place like this was concerning. So she spoke up. 

“Kurisu? Are you okay?”

“Whaaa…”. Kurisu shot up and spun around, her face turning bright red. “Senpai? Why are you here?”.

“I was following you”.

Maho suddenly realised that she’d been stalking Kurisu and had approached her in such a way as to startle her that badly. Kurisu was looking at Maho as though she’d just confessed to being a creeper, which she sort of had.

“To be clear, I was out shopping and I saw you acting suspiciously”.

“How so?”.

“You looked as though you were going to something shady. I’m glad it turned out to just be this”.

“I was acting normally. What gave me away?”. Kurisu then made a confused expression. “Wait, what do you mean “Just this”. Isn’t this sort of shady?”.

“It’s just otaku stuff”.

“I’m not an otaku!”.

“I didn’t say you were, Kurisu. But it would hardly be shady if you were”.

Kurisu didn’t look convinced. It was clear that Kurisu saw this side of her as something that was definitely worth hiding from everyone. That made Maho remember something else that Kurisu had been this defensive over.

“Is this why you pretend that you don’t use @chan, Kurisu, even when you were obviously on that? Don’t deny it. I’ve seen you on it”.

“What? You did?”. Kurisu’s voice was panicky. “I only do that as a way to keep in touch with Japanese culture”.

“Kurisu, I was stalking you. I feel like you really shouldn’t be the one acting like this in this situation”.

That did make Kurisu calm down, though it did also make her glare at Maho. “That’s true, Senpai. Don’t ever do that again. I’d expect you to be a lot better than that”.

“I was just worried about you”. Maho sighed. “Can we just admit that we’ve both acted strange and get back to interacting normally?”.

“Sure, though I want you to promise to try to forget about seeing me here”.

“Why?”.

“Isn’t it obvious? I don’t want you to see me as some sort of anime Otaku”. 

“That doesn’t mean you need to buy manga as though you’re getting drugs or something. I read manga too. I know about popular Japanese media. It comes with being a young Japanese woman”. She put extra emphasis on the word woman. She didn’t need to do that with Kurisu, but it had become a habit of hers to assert her adulthood whenever possible. 

Kurisu smiled. “Seeing you do that is oddly reassuring”.

“Why?”.

“Maybe I’m being a bit defensive about something I have a slight interest in. But even you’re defensive about some things, Senpai. That does make me feel less ridiculous”.

“You’re a closeted Otaku. I’m a short woman. My problem is much more legitimate”.

“Really? Being seen as an Otaku, which I’m not, can really harm your credibility”.

“I can’t order drinks without ID even back home. I get treated like I’m just a kid all the time, no matter how hard I try to be seen on the same level as other adults. I even get hit on by creeps while other people find it uncomfortable to flirt with me. Dealing with all the crap from people about my height and body shape is really shit, Kurisu”. 

Kurisu looked like Maho had effectively struck her. _Crap, I overdid it. I went too far and made Kurisu feel like I was lashing out at her._

So Maho decided to lighten thing up with her last complaint. “Worst of all, Leskinen put my Doktor P on a shelf I couldn’t reach. By the time I got it down, it was flat. Plus, it’s not the first time that’s happened. I’m sick of drinking my Doktor P when it’s flat”.

“You could drink mine if that happens again. I wouldn’t mind”.

“Huh? Wouldn’t drinking from a can you’ve already drank from be weird?”.

“I meant you could take a fresh can from my stash”. Kurisu narrowed her eyes. “Senpai, what were you just thinking? Actually, don’t tell me. I’d rather not think of you as the sort of person who could turn simple a drink offer into something odd in her head”.

“Thanks”.

What were her feelings for Kurisu doing to her?

“Since you’re here, would you mind help me with carrying a few things when I’m done, Senpai?”.

“Sure”.

Maho agreed to that, expecting to not need to carry much. That turned out to be wrong. Very wrong.

_How does Kurisu think she’s not an Otaku, let alone think she’s stealthy about her interests?_

“You’d better help me with my own shopping in return for this”.

“I’d be happy to do that for you, Senpai”.

Maho felt her face redden as she said “Th..thanks”.


End file.
